Coming Out of the Gutter

Just a little humor to show you the worst is over. I figured out what the trigger was and it is strange.

My friend Peggy was just following the directions when it said to let the turkey rest for an hour!

Mick has been skiing a lot and having to stay home was getting me deeper and deeper into my depression. I learned recently that all lung cancer patients are lumped together statistically - smokers and non-smokers. I adjusted when I was told I'd probably live for 2-3 years with cancer. With this new info I realize, since I started out so healthy that there is no way I can go by the same numbers as smokers, who have trashed their bodies. This has made me realize, I may live for years more with this body that is half of what it used to be and not being able to really do many things I enjoyed. I spent weeks thinking I don't want to live anymore. I know this is very self centered, many people live under much worse conditions than me, but I'm being honest here, friends.

Again I have to wrap my head around this new perspective. Which I will do but I also think I need to get angry. If suppressed anger is the cause of depression I've got to let it out. On the search for a good therapist (didn't feel connected with the fellow I saw Tuesday) and see if Lexapro makes a difference.