Been in the Gutter

Yup, I have been spending too much time there but it is hard to find my way out when I get down deep. I think this bout is the second worst depression I have been in but I am taking action. I have set up appointments with a psychologist and have started on an antidepressant. I woke up yesterday feeling better and I think just taking some action has really helped but I am not going to lull me into "Oh I'm better". It keeps coming back and I am really hoping getting some of my thoughts out of my head and into the trash where they belong will help.

In communicating with a friend in FL., who also has stage four lung cancer, he used the words "dealing with the slow deterioration of life". That says it all and is really what keeps coming back and hitting me over the head. My loss of my athletic abilities and difficulty with my limitations. Only three ski runs at a time - REALLY? Yup. Hopefully I will garner some more tools to deal with these head bangs and not let it take me so deep into the gutter. 

Today is a beautiful day and I AM appreciating it. A soft, quiet snow. We probably have about 8" so far and Roscoe's walk was beautiful but hard. He tore off after a coyote again and looked like he was flying while I was trudging along behind, blowing my whistle and calling. I don't worry about him with one but they will also lure animals into the middle of a pack and then attack - that is what worries me. Hope he hears his cautious instincts. At least he returned quicker today.