On the Journey

Here we go again. I crashed last night from my Alice medicine withdrawal and the Dana-Farber high. I so don't want to "be sick" but that will be my condition for the rest of my life. I never got out of my jommies yesterday and just rolled back into bed at night. I spent the day on the couch "playing" on the computer and answering emails. By the time we went to bed I just melted.

An image to keep in mind as you follow my journey.

I have a week booked with doctors appointments but did get a cancellation today. Susie's (surgeon) office called this morning to say she didn't need to see me today considering the weather. When your doctor has been to your house and knows the road you travel...She obviously thinks about her patients. Now we are trying to get a date to have the port put in again.

It is hard to stay motivated to do the things I know are good for me and I have to get beyond the fatalistic attitude that is kicking around in my head. Now that my day has been freed up, I am going to paint! That should get my feeling better (unless I can't do that right)

I miss my vibrant, lively self.