It Ain't Over

Oh my, it isn't all over. I've been moody lately and thought I was controlling it but am getting feedback to the contrary.

I had a great talk this week with a friend who has had major heart surgery (at 34) and we were talking about the emotions that are evolving as time goes on. I think we are very similar independent women who are real good at suppressing things we don't want to deal with.

When you are going through treatment, all you can do is get through it. No time or energy for emotions. After the worst is over and you begin to feel better there is no interest in dealing with  emotions, we want our physical body back. It has been a little over a year for my friend and things are coming up now that she has to look at.

I had a visit with my primary care physician yesterday and we continued talking about the emotions I am feeling. She said that the chemo destroys the neurotransmitters and I am in the process of repairing them along with everything else. So now I not only have chemo brain (NO memory or retention) I am sending strange signals through out my body/brain.

The lesson is patience dear (both for myself and others I have to deal with or have to deal with me). If you are one of them - I'm sorry and please have patience with me. It ain't over till the fat lady sings and I have a long way to go to be the fat lady.